Mark’s back surgery and road to recovery

December 18, 2008

9:37 a.m. – Here’s a little background……..Mark had two bad discs in his back.  The plan was for a surgeon to open him up, move things (like his intestines, ureter, etc.) out of the way, and for the orthopedic surgeon to then go in and fix Mark’s discs – to put artificial spacers in.  They would then close him up and roll him over and open his back up to fix what was wrong in the back – removing part of a damaged disc (I’m sure there’s a better explanation but that’s as medical as I get – medicine is not my forte).

The surgeon, Dr. Thomas, came out first and told us that his part of the surgery was complete and that it went perfect, that Mark is in great health and everything went textbook, exactly as it should have.  He said that they had closed the incision and they were now going to roll him over and go in through his back.  Dr. Thomas was the “move things out of the way” surgeon and Dr. DeLeeuw was our orthopedic surgeon. Dr. DeLeeuw then did his thing on Mark’s back and when he came out to see us, he used the same word – it went “perfect”.  I’m not and have never been keen on the word “perfect” but it sure sounded good today, especially hearing both surgeons use that word.

You can’t ask for anything more than that.  I’m still sitting in the waiting room with Keith and Mom.  Mark is still in recovery and I should get to see him in about 1/2 hour or so.  I had some weak moments just because yesterday Mark admitted that he was afraid.  I didn’t cry – I held it together with Keith’s help.  Mark said he didn’t sleep two nights before surgery because he was worrying.  He was afraid they were going to take parts out of him to get them out of the way.  Before surgery he was re-assured by one of the nurses that is not what they would be doing – they would just move things aside and clamp him open – nothing would be removed.  He then felt better going into surgery (I think).

Surgery was supposed to take 2 1/2-3 hours and it actually took three hours.  Yep – more perfection – right on target.  Now we are hopeful that all goes well in recovery and during the rest of his days in the hospital.  Dr. DeLeeuw said he would go home Monday but we’re hoping he progresses well and comes home earlier than that.  We’ll see and we don’t want to rush his recovery.  I’ll update this post when I can.  Thanks to our friends and family for your thoughts and well-wishes.  We are richly blessed and we know it.

7:24 p.m. – Keith and I came home and Keith is now on his way back to West Lafayette.  I made Keith some oatmeal cookies and we had leftovers for dinner.  Mark is sleeping mostly – we came home so he could rest and so Keith could get back home to West Lafayette.  It was a brutal surgery and Mark said it feels like he has been kicked in the stomach.  The pain in his front incision area is very bad – his back incision is not bad pain-wise.  He’s on a morphine pain pump but he’s trying not to use it much.  That’s Mark – he doesn’t like meds – go Mark!  St. Joseph Hospital in South Bend is wonderful – from the lady who checked us in to all of the nurses, aides and doctors.  I don’t remember the anesthesiologist’s name, but she was wonderful also.  Our check-in nurse was Thom – awesome.  The surgery nurse was Rick – he briefed us before surgery and called periodically during surgery – from the operating room – to give us updates.  The recovery nurse was a sweetheart but I didn’t notice her name.  I’m just trying to document things so Mark can look back when this is all over as he probably won’t remember much.

9:15 p.m. – I called Mark.  He sat up in a chair but has bad nausea.  They gave him a shot for the nausea and he’s back in bed.  He’s still not eating but that’s o.k.  He was trying to down a cracker when I called him.  He said he told the nurse that I had a hysterectomy and he feels so sorry for me because of the pain he’s now in.  She told him that his pain is equal to a hysterectomy and that we are both troupers (my hysterectomy was in 1992 so I’m pretty much o.k. now though – LOL).  I think his pain is probably worse than mine was because he is cut front and back.  She also told him that tomorrow will be a much better day.  They are taking great care of him.

Once in a lifetime……..

gingerbread-1This is the story of Mark and myself decorating a gingerbread house.  This is something I have always wanted to do.  I now consider it a once in a lifetime experience because I will never do it again – never say never – I would do it again with a grandchild in a heartbeat if we are blessed with one or more of those little gems.

gingerbread-2Mark and I bought the kit for $10.00 at Walmart.  We had a blast.  He even cut some of the candies and made them into little evergreens.  Mark decorated the back of the house (he outlined his path with yellow gumdrops and put a flower on the wall to the right of the back door – yes it IS too a flower – he told me so) and I decorated the front (wreath above the door and a white trash sidewalk).  We both did the rest together. We laughed until I almost cried because really, it looks like a third grader did it (no offense to third graders because they could probably do better).

Enjoy the pics and hold your laughter!

WOW!

Here’s a picture of one of my sons. He looks harmless enough, doesn’t he? He is – trust me. However, he isn’t entitled to the rights most Americans are entitled to, such as marriage.

Another thing he’s no longer allowed to do: donate blood. Look at the shirt he happens to be wearing in this picture (from 11/21/04). He received that for donating blood. He started donating after 9/11. He was seventeen and a senior in high school and wanted to help so he donated blood. He has been donating regularly ever since (seven years). He is no longer allowed to donate blood because he is in a committed relationship (i.e. sexually active for those, like us, who were not aware of the “rules” of blood donation). He holds no anger about that – the Red Cross woman who had to break that news to him when he went to donate blood – she was really kind to him.

But let’s get back to gay marriage. Really, what are people afraid of? The “WOW” title of this post relates to a very touching and moving commentary by Keith Olbermann. Please watch this video and share it with others: Keith Olbermann on Ellen.

Thank you to both Keith’s:

To Keith, my son, thank you for being you.

To Keith Olbermann, thank you for being you.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

swansYah, ok, it’s not Thanksgiving………..and yah, I know – those are not turkeys……….but I’m in a thankful mood so I’m going to celebrate it.

What am I thankful for? I’m thankful for these beautiful swans. They are at our local pond. When Mark and I went for a walk this week, there they were – they are always there and we always look for them. They give me joy – just the serenity of them and their companionship – lovely.

turkeys*****Update – October 4, 2008 – Check it out!!! We were on our way home and there were turkeys in a field by our home so I had to include them in this “Happy Thanksgiving” post. Aren’t they beautiful?*****

I’m thankful for a wonderful husband. I dreamt of the white picket fence life when I was a teenager. When I was an adult, working at a law firm, the girls at work would always want me to go to the bar after work. It wasn’t my scene – never was – and they would always say “your knight in shining armor isn’t going to come to your house to find you.” Oh how wrong they were. He was a blind date and he did call my parents home and ask me out on a date. He’s kind, gentle, funny, multi-talented (magician, locksmith, expert remodeler, woodworker – a jack of all trades). I most love his kindness and his sense of humor, followed by the fact that he likes the simple life just like I do. Our motto is “less is more”. It’s a grand existence on a simple scale (and no white picket fence was needed to make it all a reality).

I’m thankful for Keith. We decided right away to try to have kids. We were married June 25 and by July 4, we said let’s try. I wanted children pretty bad – Mark wanted to wait. He gave in (easily – I’m pretty persuasive – he can’t resist a good whine – no pun intended as he doesn’t drink). We had Keith the following June 9 (1984). What a joy – a son. We wanted a boy for many reasons, first of which was that he would be the first grandson for my Dad. We were blessed with Keith. He was a good baby – he rarely napped as a toddler and was always smiling – with sweet dimples. We loved Keith so much we wanted another boy. We wanted to have another child right away so they would grow up close in age. We started trying right away.

I’m thankful for Corey – our second blessing. Corey came fourteen months after Keith. I watched him being born. I didn’t watch Keith because it was all new to me. With Corey, I told the doctor to move aside so I could watch in the big mirror. Wow – creating a life is an amazing thing! Corey was a very active little boy. Our favorite thing was when we would put him to bed at night, we would say “baby bear” and he’d do a little tiny baby bear growl and then we’d say “BIG bear” and he’d do a loud big bear growl. He was always happy and smiling.

These boys have been the joys of our life. When they were growing up, they were always polite and would hug everybody to greet them – they were very loving. It has been up and down – as it is with most people raising children. The end result is something Mark and I talk about all the time – watching them grow and spread their wings and be successful in their work and their personal lives, and still love their parents (we think???) – what more could parents ask for.

I’m thankful for my parents. I was their third child of four. Now that we’ve raised two children, I can’t imagine how they did it with the four of us and not much money. We always had HUGE gardens and I hated them. Then lo and behold, I grew up and had HUGE gardens for about the first fifteen years of our marriage. I finally “got” it – you do what you have to do to feed the family, and a HUGE garden is the answer. Dad was a mechanic at home most of my childhood (Grott’s Repair Shop – I loved the sign we had – such pride), so we had a stable background with both parents at home. The girls generally had to stay in the house and do housework while the boys got to work outside with Dad. We would get a nickel for each item that we ironed (I loved the pillowcases and the hankies – those were an easy nickel). Later, oh how rich I felt when we got a raise and were given seven cents per item. It was a treat when I’d get to go outside and help Dad. I used to love when he’d ask me to make him a sign for his business. I’d get to use his permanent markers – very fun. Mom was a stay-at-home mom most of the time I was growing up. She drove bus for awhile – my bus – and that was fun and I was always proud of her. Dad worked on the buses for my school, on the tractors and such for the farmers, and on cars and trucks – I was always proud of Dad too. He would come in at 11:30 every day for lunch. We would all watch The Gong Show and All My Children. On Saturdays, Mom would take us to the little store in town and as a treat, we’d get fresh lunch meat, chips, RC Cola and for a treat, we’d each get a Hostess snack to eat with our lunch(I almost always picked the Hostess snowballs). We’d bring it all home and make lunch and that little thing made Saturdays special. We also cleaned every Saturday. We would get out the albums and play them loud – Elvis, the Silver Fox (Charlie Rich), Loretta Lynn, Neil Diamond – she even had an album of John F. Kennedy giving a speech. We listened to that a couple of times but mostly we wanted the music.

I’m thankful for my friends. What rich friendships I have. If you are my friend, you know I’m talking about you! You are the ones I e-mail with or go to lunch with or lay around the house and just cuddle with the cats and we are happy. You are the ones who share my LOVE of knitting. I value friendships and I am not one of those people who calls everybody my friend. I value that word actually – friend.

I’m thankful for every cat who has entered our lives, starting with Smokey, who we got right after we got married. Then there was Reggie (short for “register” because he went and laid on the register in the bathroom as soon as we brought him home) – this is a challenge to remember all of them but I’ll try – then……..Simon and Murphy (named after a show called Simon and Simon and a show called Murphy Brown), Thumper (loved to thump us when he played), Connie and Mac (named after the kids’ librarian at their favorite library – her name is Connie McLeRoy), KC (shortened version of Keith and Corey’s Kool Cat), Jackie (short for jack-o-lantern because we got him at Halloween), Molly, Carrie and Chloe (those were just random names). All have now passed except Molly, who lives with Keith and Carrie and Chloe, our little lovergirls.

If you’ve made it this far in this post, please continue and read the rest. This part is also very important. On the way home from a visit with Corey this week, there was a song playing on the radio. I always sing out loud (and Mark never complains – hey, another reason to love him). I was singing along to this song and the words just hit me – they hit me hard. I was singing it and looked over at Mark and he was singing it too and then we looked at each other at just the perfect section of lyrics: How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.

So this song is for all of the special people in my life – along with those words: How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.

 

Your Song
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie TaupinIt’s a little bit funny this feeling inside
I’m not one of those who can easily hide
I don’t have much money but boy if I did
I’d buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one’s for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they’ve got me quite cross
But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song
It’s for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen

Corey’s home continues to improve

07/12/08 – Today, Mark and I helped Corey re-do his hall closet while Danielle was at work. Actually, Mark has worked seventeen hours OT this week, so he took a nap while Corey and I put up white beadboard in the closet. Mark then woke up in time to help with the shelving. It rocks and we will hopefully finish it tomorrow. Tomorrow we are also going to help Corey and Danielle strip the hardwood floors. That should be fun (???).

07/13/08 – Today, Mark, Corey, Danielle and myself worked on the hall closet more and then – drumroll please – began sanding the floors. What a job! Corey manned the drum sander and Mark ran the edge sander. Danielle and I were the perfect little helpers.

07/14/08 – Corey and Danielle finished sanding and prepping the floor – and also have the closet finished!

07/15/08 – Corey put on the first coat of stain and the sealer. He will now do a coat of poly after work every night. So far, so good. Corey said you can really see the swirl marks from the sander – but it is what it is. It will be fine – much better than before.

07/20/08 – Ta da!!!! And here’s the floor with maybe/hopefully the final coat of poly. How beautiful does that look? Corey rocks (so does Danielle!!!). Now the walls need some more touch ups on the drywall and then it can be painted and trimmed out.

Happy 50th Anniversary!!!

mom-and-dads-weddingWow – 50 years! Today is my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. They married on June 7, 1958. They have four children and ten grandchildren. We had a beautiful party on May 24, 2008. They then took a trip to Ludington, Michigan, on their actual anniversary to visit friends for a few days. Fifty years is such a milestone and you can see that they still love each other today just as they did oh so many years ago (you can see the love in the two photos I’ve posted – just like newlyweds even today). Happy 50th Mom and Dad!!!

50th-anniversary-party

Deer damage and yard work

corey-and-mark-new-fenceIt’s been really busy here. We had deer damage to the arborvitaes. So we fought back and put up a fence. We also had already ordered a bjillion more arborvitaes, so those had to be planted also. Actually, I’m unsure of the exact number, but when I get an accurate count, I will post it. The main row had 165 – I counted them while we were working on the fence. The picture is of Corey and Mark out back fixing the fence. I LOVE this picture.

Also, we decided to take out the sidewalk in front of the house. What a nightmare that was. We had to rent a jackhammer. Both kids helped us and it took all day.

We also built a strawberry box – above ground – three feet high – makes it really nice to weed and pick the strawberries. Dad has one and I love his so we built one of our own.

Life

coreys-house
Here’s what’s up in our life. Corey has moved into his own home. He is leasing with option to purchase for one year. He moved in yesterday (last night to be exact) and it is the cutest little house ever. It needs much love and Corey is just the guy for the task. In this picture, Corey is mowing the lawn for the first time (this picture actually taken in the Spring – after this post was originally posted). This is such an exciting time for Mark and I – to see our sons grow and spread their wings. What a success Corey is – at age 21, he is on the way to purchasing his first home. Exciting – tear-jerking.

Keith had a very full week last week. He was working his last week at US Steel (actually working at US Steel as a contractor for AGT – something like that – if I’m wrong, I’m sure he’ll correct me since we are both full of perfectionist issues when it comes to typos, etc.). His last day was Friday, but in that timeframe, he had to get all four wisdom teeth pulled Thursday and then go to work Friday, in addition to working three days at South Central, getting a haircut Thursday night right after having his wisdom teeth pulled so he would look shiny and new for his new job at Golden Technologies starting Monday, February 12. However, he pulled through the surgery like a champ and no one would ever be able to tell he even had his wisdom teeth pulled. Slight swelling – no bruising – amazing. So…………..Monday – tomorrow actually, he starts his new job. More exciting times for our family. Next, he will continue saving and buy his own house.

That’s it for now – more another time.

New Beginnings

etToday is the first day of the rest of my life. Well, really it’s 2008 right now but I’m back-dating this post to the day I met Mark, who would become my future husband. When he walked in the front door at my parents home, it was love at first sight (it was a blind date). He was tall, tall, tall and handsome. He had on light brown corduroys and a yellow sweatshirt. I’ll post a picture of us – he has on the same sweatshirt – I want to remember it forever. I remember when he walked in I thought “he’s a basketball player” because he was so tall (but, as I later learned, he was not a basketball player – doesn’t like sports at all – yippee!!!). In the years to come, he related how he was afraid because Dad and at least one of my brothers, maybe both, were also in the living room. He knew he’d be in big trouble if he hurt me because they were all tall guys too. It was Labor Day, 1982, and it was a Monday night (obviously – Labor Day). We went to see ET. We were home by 8:30 or 9:00. We didn’t speak except he asked me if I wanted to see him again and he said it was fun. So sweet – we were sooooooooo shy. We went out again that next Saturday night (September 11) and the rest is history. By October 6 (one month) we knew we were getting married. He gave me a pre-engagement ring for Christmas that year (can’t call it a promise ring, he said, because those are for teenagers and the young kids). We were engaged on April 18, 1983, and got married on June 25, 1983. That will be my next post.